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Queen of Cups


Which tarot card are you?

Now, I don't do this as much as I used to, but I read Tarot cards. And from what I can tell, my readings tend to be pretty accurate. I don't have any big belief in the cards as "psychic" in and of themselves, but I have the belief that the cards serve as convenient keys to doors that tend to stay locked until somebody comes along and pops them open. And my accuracy could be simply a better reading of the person than relying on the cards themselves, or even perhaps the person wanting the cards to be correct, and so helping me along with my reading. I'm not sure. On the other hand, I do keep one deck in a handpainted greenman box with lavender and roses from the Wiccan who painted the box. So maybe I do have some slightly buried beliefs about the cards.

My grandest moment telling Tarot came in Italy, the last day we were in Todi before the program ended and we all went our seperate ways. Some of us went to a little bar on the edge of town, assorted bottles of wine in hand, and I happened to bring along my deck of cards. The group of American kids from our program and Italian kids from the area were all interested, and I ended up reading 12 spreads or so, the last few in my cracked Italian, with somebody assisting in the translation. A few people cried, and said that I was exactly right and that I was helping them see things clearly. It was interesting - as I did one after the other, I had this incredible feeling of almost weightlessness, as if I were speeding along without touching the ground. My readings towards the end of the session came a lot more quickly, and I had more of a sense of things flowing from the cards into me and then into the person asking for the reading. It's the only time when I can say I had a truly mystical moment with the cards. Then again, we were drinking a lot of wine, it was a bright starry night in an ancient city in an ancient country, I was the center of attention, and a mystical moment wouldn't have been hard to come by, cards or no cards.

And ever since that evening, I've only done a few spreads, and I'm terribly out of practice. I should start it up again, but I can't read for myself - any time I've tried the results have been no better than mere fifty-fifty stuff. Which slightly supports my theory that the cards help the reader unlock doors that the questioner can't unlock for themselves. Since I've locked my own doors in my own head, I need somebody else to come along and open them up for me.

And that's my tarot philosophy. For what it's worth, I've identified myself with the Queen of Cups, so if you're curious about me, go look her up.

9:41 p.m. - 2002-04-09

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