Andare, Partire, Tornare ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fight Club Hmm. I always love it when I'm the target of a person's anger because they had a bad day. Roommate just stormed in, furious because I had parked in the spot that's closest to the door, and she had to park further out (further being about fifteen to twenty feet away). Bemo and I had to lug in an unassembled desk, and had parked nearby knowing she wasn't getting home until late, but I forgot to move the car, and consequently, when she came in, there was much stomping around, and I got my head taken off. Apparently, I didn't know what day it was, she had to work an hour late, didn't get to eat dinner, and then had dance class, and SHE HAD TO PARK FAR AWAY. The tone she employed made it clear that I was the straw that broke the camel's back. Fer fuck's sake. I hate the fact that we have to share a house. Zee is, on most occasions, a fairly decent roommate - but I hate not having control of my surroundings. And I hate being available for her to vent her pissyness out on. I am not a fighter - angry words get my stomach knotted up, so I couldn't even blow up at her in return - scream back in her face, "Fuck! You had to walk a whole extra feet! Big fat fucking deal! And your rotten day is not my responsibility, so shut your face!" As much as I want to, the words only come after the moment has passed, and even if they had come while I was being guilt-tripped (insert snarky joke about Catholics and skill at guilt-tripping here) I would probably not have the guts to actually say the words. So I write it out, and see if that stops my hands from shaking. Bemo is the fighter, the hot-head, I'm the peacemaker. But sometimes I want to just be able to scream without debating the consequences first. We need our own place. But we can't have that right now. And that makes me want to bite like a rabid dog. 9:51 p.m. - 2002-04-17 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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