Andare, Partire, Tornare
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The horror, the horror!
Apparently my entire life has been a lie. And last night, under the stern tutalage of a Shishedo makeup lady, I learned my error. Dear Readers - my eyebrows are out of control. And the reason is all my fault. Because other than a few passes with the tweezers to make sure I didn't grow a Frieda Kahlo-like monobrow, I have...never plucked my eyebrows.
I'll pause here for you all to recover yourselves.
It seems that, my eyebrows, which I thought were just fine, are in reality bushy, seething clumps of horror, fixed above my lovely eyes and threatening to swallow them up. The humanity! To remedy this, I must immediately get them plucked or waxed, and invest in a little teensie brush to whip them into shape. Some eyebrow pencil would also be appropriate, apparently. It all happened when my sister Boop and I were prowling through the Hechts last night, and stopped off to pick up some cosmetics for mom (although we ended up buying more for us). During the conversation about eye shadow and eyeliner, I was swooped down upon by the Shishedo makeup woman and subjected to a proper grooming. Thus was my eyebrow crisis made known to me. She penciled them. She brushed them. She scowled at them. Over her shoulder, I could see Boop's face, twitching as she tried not to laugh at me. I was a wreck.
(Above, we see a rare photograph of the wild creature, caught in its natural habitat)
People, I barely can apply Chapstick properly. This is all far, far beyond me.
I walked out of that Hechts with one eye done up in a pink and white palette, and the other in a tasteful pale green and olive green. And I did not cry.
But I made an appointment with Boop to pluck my eyebrows. I hope she has a machete handy.
On the other hand, I did manage to buy my Christmas cards, so today while manning the gift shop (thankfully, I arrived for my shift *after* the influx of crazed French quilters) I was able to scribble a few of them. And I also got Bemo his gift - a tres trendy hot rocks massage thingie which I think will feel good for sinuses and the pressure points on his back. And after the disappointment yesterday of losing out on my Spanish Steps charm (it went for twenty-one bucks, yikes!) I did win my Papal Keys charm. I even managed to get a little shopping done at Frank's Nursery, where Boop works. So all in all it was a good time.
But I think my eyebrows are plotting to kill me now. If any of you hear muffled screaming from the environs of Northern Virginia, send for a beautician.
12:54 p.m. - 2002-12-12
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