Andare, Partire, Tornare ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Non vale il pene "There's an Italian expression, not an expression, really, just a way of saying something, a useful phrase, probably universal: Non vale la pena. "It's not worth the trouble." But in Italian if you get the gender wrong and say Non vale il pene, you're in trouble. "It's not worth the penis" is what you're saying. During my first year at the Liceo Morgagni, when I was still struggling with the language, I used to throw that phrase around recklessly. "Better check with Signor Cipriani to see if the exam's going to be on Monday or Wednesday." Non vale il pene. "You want me to pick up some paper for you at the cartoleria?" Non vale il pene. I never quite understood the violent reactions I got, but it didn't matter. I was speaking Italian; I'd broken out of the prison of English. Finally, Signor Cipriani, the English teacher, took me aside and set me straight, but by that time the phrase had become fixed in my head, or on my tounge, just like the fingering of a difficult passage on the piano. It wasn't easy to change. I always had to stop and think: not il pene but la pena. But, you know, sometimes I think that it doesn't make much difference, and sometimes I think my way is better. Every woman will know what I mean. It's an expression she ought to add to her vocabulary for occasions like this one: Non vale il pene. ----From _The Sixteen Pleasures_, by Robert Hellenga 8:23 a.m. - 2001-11-30 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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