Andare, Partire, Tornare ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Arrgh. And Bah, even. Well, if this hasn't been a truly suck day all around. Goodness me, I wasn't sure things could stack up in such a way as to leave me with this delightful combination of guilt, anger, depression, and anxiety, all rolled into one neat little package. Well, this was mostly earlier today. And since it's going on one am, I guess it's officially tomorrow and I can put yesterday behind me where it firmly belongs. Damnit, I hate making a stupid mistake that happened because I thought I knew what I was doing despite the fact that I really didn't and knew deep down that I really didn't. Thankfully it was not a big, major mistake. It was only a medium sized mistake that had the potential to be much more. And again damnit for the fact that being in debt to your landlady makes you feel so fucking worthless. Apparently my calculations of two hundred dollars a month for utilities are about fifty bucks under reality. And that really and truly ticks me the fuck off. And you know what? There's not a single fucking thing in the world I can do about my housing situation at this time. I am a proud person - too fucking proud, I know. But I really hate the fact that the world frequently decides to take me down several pegs. Would it help if I groveled? Deep breath in, let it out slowly. I gave Bemo his Christmas present early because I wanted to play with him with it. No, it's not one of those, you perverts. I got him that hot rock spa, and let me tell you what, having your pressure points in your back massaged by a very warm rock lightly covered in rose oil is a really, really nice sensation. The roughness of the rock, the scent of the oil, and the heat seeping into you just sends your body the signal to relax. So last night, Bemo and I did faces, backs, and feet. Something I didn't know, either - apparently being really relaxed and happy is a great aphrodesiac. Who woulda thunk it, huh? 12:49 a.m. - 2002-12-15 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||