Andare, Partire, Tornare ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- small moments in the dark Apologies for swiping mousepoet's format without doing it justice, but it feels right for the small thing I want to share about last night. we always flew down that bit of roadit has delicious curves to swoop around and your stomach would flip-flop like a roller coasterbut last evening we saw a shape by the road a deer, my husband said so we stopped pulled over with hazzard lights flashing and waited for a safe minute to cross the road.she was almost in the street curled up into herself, resigned to death or maybe just stunned but we moved her gently with the help of two other people away from the road.once she stood up, flailing but with no strength left in her and we held her back from leaping into traffic and killing herself and maybe another person. the girl with me was crying instead of sobbing she would say poor thing, poor thing, another living creature struck downwe wrapped her in my wool cape and called the police hoping for a game warden to take her to a wildlife rehabilitator but I knew and my husband knew that she was already dead even though her flank still heaved with her quick breaths.
by the side of the busy road, looking foolish. a man swerved deliberately to try and hit her again, and my husband yelled angrily after him cursing him as the red tail lights disappeared around the bend.it felt very strange, standing there in the wet grass with strangers and a small, muddy deer like a tapestry or a painted panel. but no one would want to preserve this insignifigant, ugly moment.eventually the policeman came. he sent us home, told us there would be no game warden, no miracle rescue. for her there was a bullet and that was all. the girl beside me gasped, cried again, put her hands on the deer's head and said i'm sorry, i'm sorry. you don't deserve this. we walked her to her car and hugged her as my husband and i crossed the road she called out a blessing bless you for being kind. for loving.we took another way home so we wouldn't hear the shot. 10:55 a.m. - 2003-03-14 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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